Read Time: 1:25
(On meeting Jim Rome and Kyle Brandt on Media Row, February 2016)
5:15 am
Wake up a little drunk. Realize that the hair should not have been washed last night without a blow-dry. Smoke a joint and drink 3/4 cup of coffee.
6:20 am
Get into car and onto gridlocked freeway. Notice that gas gauge says 10 miles until empty. Drive 15.7 miles.
6:55 am
People looking at each other in traffic. They think I am a responsible adult driving an expensive, responsible adult car. Little do they know I am about to run out of gas, which would block lane 2. Also, I might still be a little drunk. And I am definitely high.
6:57 am
Get fuel. And coffee. Same thing.
7:39 am
Decide to listen to the “Jam” station. All songs run 8-12 minutes: an enchanting duration due to ambling tablature, but not helpful in ignoring how much of life is being wasted in the expensive adult car in order to pay for the expensive adult car.
Everything feels like it will never end.
Driving Aggression level: character Ari in “Entourage.”
8:49 am
Survey downtown SF: 4th and Mission: No shortage of assholes eating imported artisan toast.
8:50 am-12:03 pm
Inside waiting. Make best attempts at seeming busy/important/like I am paying attention, without actually having to engage with anyone.
12:03 pm
Wipe hands vigorously on pants to remove hours of air-conditioned sweat and skin cells from palms. Leave curiously shaped oil stain on inside thigh of slacks.
12:04 pm
Meet the host and producer of the radio show that you would like to emulate in brand, style and longevity. Shake hands. Fail to mention the one thing you actually went there to say, because both are actually more handsome in real life.
6:56pm
Suffer excitement about another successful day, tomorrow. Have a drink.
Current Sh*t 