spiders


I watched the juicy spider 
mercilessly murder 
the blimp, sweet bumble bee 
that flew into its messy weave, 
Unsuspecting.

A gardener at heart, 
I know that my spiders are beneficial. 
I need my spiders. 
And I know that what happened between the two of them in the side yard
was perfectly natural. I didn’t intervene.

But then, relatedly or unrelatedly (I admit),
I often dust and worry the spiderwebs away
from the deck and the chairs and the plants. 
And only then do I think about what it took
To spit that stick of a mess. How vital it is to them.

I wonder if the spiders will come and smell me 
while I am swishing their webs away, 
and find, and punish me later in my sheets. 

I think about how, and how many times then,
Now my own web has been dusted away 
by an immediate, natural hand.

And then, rather than feel sorry for my spiders,

I marvel at how quietly, intrinsically, and constantly, they rebuild, 
and I wonder what the fuck is wrong

with me.